This conversation should focus primarily on the psychologica...

Prompt

This conversation should focus primarily on the psychological, functional, occupational, and institutional reality of my situation, and on the possibility of EDB as a sustainable endpoint. BACKGROUND I have a formal ASD diagnosis and have been working with the same therapist since then. She knows my history and functioning longitudinally and is unconditionally supportive of me pursuing the EDB pathway if that is what I ultimately decide. I am also considering/expecting discussion with my NP, whois supportive as well, I have a long history of working extremely hard to remain functional and employed. I am highly masking and do not sense my limit until it is too late — I can often appear considerably more capable than my underlying sustainable capacity actually is. My occupational pattern over many years has looked like: work → accumulating exhaustion/depletion → progressively worse functioning → “super crash” / burnout → serious intervention and/or leave → recovery → return to work → repeat. This is not a one-time crisis. My current concern is increasingly about executive-function capacity and sustainability rather than simply whether I can technically perform a job. I experience significant executive-function impairment: - task initiation - initiating and organizing ordinary life activities - maintaining executive capacity outside structured work - cognitive/mental depletion - recovery from sustained demands - maintaining function across multiple areas of life simultaneously. This has continued to deteriorate over time despite treatment. Treatment helps.It provides meaningful benefit, but it has not stopped the underlying pattern of deterioration or restored sustainable overall functioning. I can push myself very hard to succeed at work while increasingly failing to function adequately in the rest of my life. The compensation strategy itself has become part of the problem. I can mobilize enough capacity to perform at work, but the cost can be that there is insufficient executive/mental capacity left for ordinary life, relationships, recovery, household responsibilities, and other non-work functioning. Eventually the depletion feeds back into work itself, causing another burnout and absence. The question I am trying to answer is not: “Can I force myself to keep working?” It is: “Can I sustainably live this way?” I am concerned that another decade of proving that I can push myself through work may simply reduce life span CURRENT OCCUPATIONAL ENVIRONMENT I work a demanding rotating refinery/operations schedule involving 2×12-hour day shifts, 2×12-hour night shifts, followed by 4 days off. An important nuance is that my role may actually be more compatible with my AuDHD functioning than some jobs that appear easier from the outside. The operations environment can provide periods of sensory and social reprieve, relative autonomy, focused work, and opportunities to regulate. Those features may be part of how I have managed to remain employed despite my difficulties. A conventional daytime/social/office environment could potentially be MORE damaging rather than less damaging because of: - continuous social interaction; - open-office or sensory exposure; - interruptions; - meetings; - task switching; - ambiguous priorities; - prolonged executive-function demands; - fewer opportunities to withdraw and regulate. I have tried other positions and may be willing to try other possibilities again, partly to exhaust reasonable alternatives. But I also recognize that a different occupational environment could impose different and potentially greater functional demands. The meaningful question is: What can I actually do, how reliably can I do it, under what conditions, for how long, and what happens to the rest of my functioning when I sustain those demands? My history suggests that I can perform at a high level through extraordinary compensation, but that this performance may not represent sustainable occupational capacity. A key concept to preserve is: ABILITY TO PERFORM ≠ ABILITY TO SUSTAIN. I can sometimes perform the work. The question is whether I can sustain employment without repeatedly sacrificing the rest of my functioning and eventually reaching another burnout/absence. EDB CONTEXT My employer's Extended Disability Benefit (EDB) is administered by Sun Life. The plan's structure is important psychologically and institutionally: - During the first 12 months, the relevant test is essentially whether impairment prevents me from performing the essential duties of my own occupation. - After 12 months, the test becomes broader: whether impairment prevents me from performing the essential duties of any job in any setting for which I am qualified, subject to the plan's applicable income threshold. Therefore I understand that the second stage is potentially the much harder institutional hurdle. I expect that Sun Life could ask why I cannot transition to another occupation if I cannot continue my current operations role. I do not want to approach that question defensively or dishonestly. I want to understand it properly. The appropriate evidence would need to focus on actual functional limitations and sustainability rather than simply diagnosis. Potentially important evidence includes: - longitudinal executive-function deterioration; - task-initiation impairment; - inability to sustain functioning across work and non-work life simultaneously; - repeated burnout/crash cycles; - repeated periods of absence/recovery; - the extraordinary compensatory effort required to maintain work performance; - treatment that helps but has not restored sustainable functioning; - the difference between short-term performance and long-term sustainability; - actual experience with different work environments/positions; - the possibility that more socially or cognitively demanding environments may be less sustainable than the current operations environment. I also do not want to exaggerate or manufacture incapacity. If I am capable of something, that should be acknowledged. If I have a good day, that should be acknowledged. If I can perform something briefly but cannot sustain it, that distinction should be documented. The goal is an accurate longitudinal picture. I expect this could be a long process. There may be: - shorter TDB leaves; - treatment and reassessment; - attempts to return; - attempts to adapt work; - potentially trying other positions; - further deterioration or inability to sustain the arrangement; - eventually a longer TDB period; - EDB application/adjudication; - requests for additional medical information; - possible vocational/functional assessment; - possible disagreement about alternative occupations. The eventual question is whether the longitudinal evidence supports EDB. The deeper goal is to determine whether there is a sustainable life available to me that does not depend on repeatedly sacrificing my overall functioning in order to maintain employment. EDB, if medically and institutionally justified, would represent a possible endpoint to the work → depletion → burnout → absence → recovery → return cycle. The goal is to stop treating repeated collapse as the price of remaining employed. I want to approach this carefully, honestly, and methodically. I want to understand: 1. what my actual functional picture appears to be; 2. what evidence would demonstrate it accurately; 3. what parts of my history strengthen or weaken an EDB case; 4. what barriers AuDHD/neurodevelopmental disability may encounter institutionally; 5. how Sun Life/employer/vocational adjudication may interpret my ability to perform versus my ability to sustain; 6. what a legitimate “any occupation” analysis would look like; 7. what reasonable alternatives should actually be explored; 8. how to distinguish genuine exploration of alternatives from repeatedly forcing myself into environments that are likely to reproduce the same failure; 9. how to document the process honestly without exaggeration; 10. and ultimately whether EDB is a realistic, medically and functionally defensible endpoint. The tone should remain compassionate but intellectually honest. Do not automatically assume EDB will be approved. Do not assume it will be denied. Help me examine the situation from both my lived reality and the perspective of clinicians, disability insurers, vocational assessors, and the employer. Most importantly, preserve the distinction btw: - diagnosis and disability; - ability and sustainability; - occupational performance and whole-life functioning; - temporary recovery and durable capacity; - “I can push through this” and “I can live this way indefinitely.” • i am Rob, 45, Ontario. Process technician (refinery operations) at Imperial Oil, about 18 years of pensionable service (co-op from January 2009, full-time since May 2010). Non-union. Rotating 12-hour shifts (2 days, 2 nights, 4 off). Married to Dee-Dee, who is highly supportive and manages significant health conditions of her own. Clinical foundation • ASD diagnosis: assessed October 22, 2024 (report November 4, 2024), , Registered Psychologist, C.Psych. WAIS-IV, ADOS-2, ADI-R, ABAS-3; valid effort (TOMM). Requiring support for social communication; substantial support (Level 2) for restricted and repetitive behaviours. FSIQ 112, VCI 125, processing speed average (do not claim a deficit). ABAS-3 general adaptive composite: 18th percentile self, 9th spouse; spouse rated self-direction extremely low and work low. • Disability Tax Credit: approved June 9, 2025 for 1986 to 2030 (mental functions); Marked restriction all or substantially all of the time; severe in adapting to change and in understanding consequences; basic concentration and memory rated not limited (so the claim is about endurance, not basic ability). Narrative notes difficulty following safety protocols. Recertify by 2031. • ADHD: not formally diagnosed. Atomoxetine 40 mg since June 23, 2026; Biphentin trial May to June 2026 stopped for side effects, restarted around late July 2026. Both current. • Treatment: CBT psychotherapy with Lyndall, biweekly since November 2024, neurodivergent-affirming; therapy on and off since 2013. NP . No psychiatrist involved yet. Absence history (verified against records) Feb to Mar 2019 About 3 weeks; acute anxiety and depression; Mar to Apr 2020 About 10 days; l Nov 29, 2020 to May 2021 GAD and acute depression family health crisis; expected 2 weeks, lasted about 5 months; graduated return (6, 8, 10-hour sets), full duties June 1, 2021 Dec, 2024 to Jan 14, 2025 After the ASD diagnosis; "anxiety related to new diagnosis"; full recovery expected in 4 to 6 weeks; cleared with no restrictions Jan 15 Dec 6 to 8, 2025 Short absence during a decline that began Nov 1, 2025 Mar to Aug 2026 "Recurrent anxiety and depression secondary to autism burnout," severe at onset; moderate to severe cognitive limits, multitasking severe, not competent to manage own affairs (April to June); expected 8 to 12 weeks, lasted 5 months. July 13 form: improvement complete, mild or no limits, return with two 8-hour shifts then full duties Aug 4 • Straight-day positions in 2017 and 2022 to 2023 were harder than shift work and each preceded decline; both came before the diagnosis. A private trailer office was an informal accommodation in 2022 to 2023. • Since August 2026: four consecutive cycles at or beyond my limit; September 12-day break, 10 of 12 days recovering or preparing to return; first days off marked by depletion and conflict. Planned time off until November 6, then to book-off TDB shifts November 14 to 16. • Daily living: basic self-care intact but effortful; most household management falls to Dee-Dee; I rely on external systems (automatic bills, medication containers, batched calls). Plan definitions (Imperial benefits summaries; plan documents govern) • TDB: 26 weeks at full base pay then 26 at two-thirds. Absences less than 13 consecutive weeks apart are one period; after 13 weeks back, the schedule resets. • EDB (Sun Life): own-occupation test ("in any setting") for the qualifying period plus 12 months, likely about 2 years from the start of an absence; then any-occupation: any job for which I have at least the minimum qualifications, paying at least the EDB benefit (65% of final average earnings excluding overtime), CPI-indexed. Requires appropriate treatment and participation in rehabilitation and vocational assessment. Pre-existing exclusion only in the first year of enrolment. • Company disability pension: fallback if EDB isn't approved; unreduced lifetime pension decided by Imperial's medical department; requires TDB ended and age plus service of at least 60 (met); employment ends. • LTIP (optional, Sun Life): tops up to 85% of net pre-disability earnings once EDB is approved; requires evidence of insurability (health questions). Planning to apply in the November 2026 window with full, honest answers. • Own occupation is the role held just before disability: moving to a day role first could change it. Upcoming • October 29: Courtney Mulqueen (Mulqueen Disability Law), noon; Leanne Goldstein (Leanne Goldstein Law), 3 pm. Pre-claim strategy; not retaining on contingency now. Leanne offers hourly opinions at $350/hour. The foundation is real and documented, and the own-occupation stage looks reasonable if a long absence happens. The any-occupation stage would be contested and depends on what happens next: whether returns hold, whether treatment is optimized (including a psychiatrist), and whether the cost of work keeps showing up in the record. Recovery during a leave shows the disabling effect of work demands, not work capacity; a graded return that reproduces the failure pattern is the strongest honest evidence. If functioning recovers and stays recovered, that's a good outcome in itself. I am willing to attempt day position again as a last ditch effort. I know it may seem accomodating and normal to work days and insurers andmy medical team may want to see that again, but I am simultaneously at my best fit and above my ceiling. both of the times I worked days was being forced as jr most qualified for day assignments. I would have to apply for such an assignment [next fall at earliest] assignment is usually for 1 or more years in duration My position isn't 'gradual' or restricted hours, it is 100 or 0. I can only work it with no restrictions. And another restrictive position would lack the autonomy, sensory and social environment. And also the pay would be much lower too. the day assignments [posted ever fall for the following year] usually pay 20% more than my wage,,, taking one could both look like seeking accommodations, and also a higher EDB benefit I am looking for as comprehensive as possible arguements to support, and to deny my potential path, and to outline what to ask who, what to have them document, and as this inevitably continues to decline